Uncomfortably Candid

Yes, I know that I am not the whitiest person in the world and I am sure LL Cool J has been quoted a million times by folks who "return" to LiveJournal. I guess I need a place to vent. A place that I'm not telling many folks about. That I can be a little more "private" with.

So since you last left your hero..

We had filmed, edited and enjoyed the critical acclaim of Becoming Undead and finally moved onto The Social Media Massacre, which you can see here:




Time has gone by and things are going well, we sent in a copy to South by Southwest and we are waiting to hear back from them, the flick is going to be on the big screen on Feb. 11th in Rockford, IL before the premiere of Raymond Did It at the New Sullivan Theater. A lot of exciting things are going on. We are also adapting it to a web series and well, we need some help with funding. You can find out how you can help at this link: http://www.indiegogo.com/The-Social-Media-Massacre-The-Series?a=44977&i=addr

Share the link, spread the word and help us out if you can. I have to run and do some script transcription and all that fun stuff. I'll be around, so be on your toes!

Here is the short film that I wrote and directed, Becoming Undead. Please watch and let me know what you think

This is the reason I quit stand-up.

It’s not because I was bad at it. I thought I was quite good actually. It’s not because I grew tired of it, because I felt a rush every time I hit the stage. It’s because I couldn’t dedicate 100% of my time to it. I couldn’t do it justice, if I couldn’t give 100%.

Don’t worry though. I’m not going away. I’m not quitting comedy, just one of its forms. Parodies, and other characters will still be around. So don’t go anywhere. The direction may have changed, but the ride is still the same.

I know I don't post here nearly enough, and for that I am sorry. Right now I am at a loss...

I'm not usually in the market for asking for help. I'm not that kind of a guy. I also understand that I am new here and I may or may not be overstepping my bounds. Please, forgive me.

Please read the following link and if you can help, please do. If all you can do is re-post it somewhere so someone will see it, Id appreciate i

http://justalittlehelpinghand.blogspot.com/

I thank you for just reading this. I need the money so soon I don't know if I will be able to come up with it, and that breaks my heart.

hey kids. look who's back. yeah, self imposed hiatus from the LJ, but here I am!

Fuck Disney. Now, I mean that in the best possible way. I'm sure when you are younger seeing Mickey and Goofy in real life was a treat, but once you realize that women are the real fun part of life, they just don't add up.

That brings me to the REAL "Happiest Place on Earth". That place is The Bunny Ranch. Nestled snuggly in the hills of Carson City, Nevada. My face was nestled snuggly in some boobs the weekend of April 20-22 back in 2001.

You see, I won a contest. The heres and theres of the contest really aren't that big a deal. The big deal is that I won a free round trip, all expenses paid trip to the World Famous Bunny Ranch. Now when I say all expenses paid, I mean ALL expenses paid. I was 21 years old and yes, still a virgin. That was all about to change.

I won't bore you with the travel follies because that is just a lot of waiting and boring bullshit. The story really begins when we got to the Ranch. We were staying AT the Ranch that weekend in some trailers that I was told were going to be renovated into a workout area for the girls after we left. We, being a friend of mine and the DJ, got there just in time to put our bags in our respective sleeping areas and get a tour of the joint. FANTASTIC is the only way to describe this place.

At that point we set up for the live broadcast. It was from Carson City to Milwaukee. Amazing the way the ol' radio waves work now. Anyway..

There was the typical radio babble until Bridget the Midget came out of one of the specialty rooms after shooting a scene from her upcoming movie. Oh, did I mention she was half in the bag? I can only assume it only took half the alcohol to get her drunk. Get it? Okay, bad jokes aside, the line up came into the back kitchen area and I picked a real cute girl. Very girl next door looking, something I really have a thing for.

So we went into her room and I noticed that she had a stack of books there, she said she was a student and of course I believed her. Would you call the woman who was going to ride you like a mechanical bull a liar? I think not. So we sat on her bed and discussed what was going to happen. We agreed and then I started to get undressed. By the time I had one shoe off she was naked and kind of looking at me like I was taking too long.

So once we were both in the buff, things began to get fun. I will spare you the would be gorey details, and say that it went from her on her knees to her enjoying a ride on the Ron Train.

45 minutes later - no, I am not stretching the truth - I went on the air and expressed how AMAZING it was. I was officially ruined for women back home. The rest of the night was truly a blur. We got drunk, smoked cigars and just had the kind of fun that you can imagine Bernie Madoff's cell mate is having with him right now.

The next day we started drinking early and then decided to get the real partying going later that night. I got to have to have TWO women this night, but there was a price. I had to play a game called, "How Long Can He Last".

While I was going at it with TWO women. I can't emphasis that enough. TWO women, my friend and the DJ were in the bathroom saying things to kill my buzz, so to speak. The same thing would happen to my friend later in the evening, but this is about me and MY exploits.

Things were going FANTASTIC and I was able to keep from falling to pieces until one of them said, "Pretend it's your Mom". That pretty much would keep Ron Jeremy from performing.

I came back to Racine a conquering hero. Everyone wanted to hear of my exploits, whether they would admit it or not. Hell, even women enjoyed it! There was one woman in particular that before wouldn't give me the time of day, but when I came back from the Ranch was all over me. She ended up with a guy who had 13 kids and gave her the clap.

That's a different story, for a different time.

Lately I have been trying to get into more music that I haven't heard before. I'd like to thank Pandora for allowing me that pleasure. I've also been rocking a pretty hardcore pain in my back. I think it's a pinched nerve but I can't be too sure. I also can't get to a doctor because well, thats expensive. So I'm just laying down as much as I can, hoping to ease the pain with some over the counter pain meds.

I'm also frantically trying to find ways to get Vinyl & Villains noticed. I think I have a great concept here, its just trying to get the word out that is a pain and a half. If you don't know, Vinyl & Villains is a new show I'm doing over at http://www.wildliferadio.com every Saturday at 2pm EST. Plus the podcast is up at http://vinylandvillains.blogspot.com

Well back to facebook, maybe there is something there I haven't done yet.

March 17th. It's not the day that will live in infamy, and it's not the day that man landed on the moon. It's the day that Edward James Olmos addressed a room full of people at the United Nations. It was part of a panel discussion as part of a Battlestar Galactica retrospective. The following video puts into words, things that I cannot. Please, watch, comment, enjoy, but most of all, take in the message that he is trying to send to everyone. SO SAY WE ALL!

Hey folks.

I know I have been away for awhile. I feel bad. I beat myself over it. I just needed my old venting ground back.


We'll be seeing each other, real soon.

As of yesterday, Zach Snyder and Co released a new trailer for The Watchmen film due out on March 6 of next year. With looming doubt that the ending may have changed, thus upsetting a fanboy nation, I give you the newest trailer for The Watchmen.